Stress and fight or flight

You know what the hardest things about keeping a blog about things you find that inspire you? Finding the time to write the things down as they happen.
Because if something happens that is inspiring, and you don't write it down RIGHT AWAY, it no longer seems inspiring enough an hour later.....and then the game of "oh, that wasn't inspiring enough for me to write down really anyway" happens and then it never gets written down.

I don't even know if I'm making any sense....but this I do know: I'm awake before my kidlets and I'm reading something inspiring and I'm sitting down to write it down, and it's amazing.

Since August, I've been suffering from infrequent heart palpitations. This is something that came on completely unexpectedly and freaked me out...
Especially when I happened to be at the doctor while they were happening and I ended up being ushered to an EKG, bloodwork and then scheduled for an Echo-cardiogram. Thankfully, my heart has no physical abnormalities, there's nothing technically "wrong" with it. So why am I having this issue?

Stress.

I've made lists in my head and hurried through them too many times. I've put a ton of importance on small things. I've tried to control things I can't control. I've worried about so many little things that I've turned into big things. In short, I've sweated about the small stuff. A lot.

No,
A ton.

And according to the doctors, all of this un-needed stress I have put on myself (which is HIGHLY common in women, the over-achieving-trying-to-please-everyone-at-every-second lot that we are) is taking it's toll. They prescribed me something, I didn't take it. I wanted to see if I could control this without the meds. So I researched. And I came up with things like drinking a glass of grape juice, taking magnesium, lavender essential oil (holy crap, that stuff is amazing) and meditation to name a few. And they've helped. I'm figuring out the triggers, learning how to cope. It may be something I struggle with for a long time, maybe not. Only time (and my ability to de-stress) will tell.

Why am I telling you this? Because I was just reading an article about people who went on a retreat in order to "heal" themselves from whatever ailed them. Some of the people had chronic pain (think fibromyalgia) others were unsure of their path in life, some were stuck in unhealthy patterns etc. The woman with fibromyalgia was highlighted for a minute as she brought up all the conflict in the world in the midst of the calm she was feeling.

The author (Martha Beck) pointed out that this is one reason why the woman has fibromyalgia to begin with: because she is continuously tensed for flight, her system exhausted by stress hormones.

I read that and a HUMONGOUS light when on in my brain.
That's me.
I'm the one who is continuously tensed for flight.
I'm continuously exhausting my body with stress.
My heart knows this and recognizes this...and I think I'd even go so far as to say that I'm in for even bigger health issues if I continue on the path of flight and stress.

She then goes on to tell about how this doesn't happen to animals. Animals are alert, but always have a quiet mindset.

"When danger appears, they notice it immediately. 

When peace is available, they accept it. Always."

Another light bulb moment for me. 

When danger appears (for me "danger" means a situation that I would find reasons to stress over), taking notice is an ok thing to do. But dwelling on it? 

Not ok. 

I'm going to work on this. For reals. 

Cause not only is my body reacting to my frequent stress of anything "dangerous" but I have 

3 perfect little people who look to me to set an example for them.

And I want that example to be of peace, not crazy stress. 

I hope you are having a great day. 

And if you aren't, change it =)

(This post is linked with Parenting BY Dummies for Wordful Wednesday)

 

Hi, my name is Emily and I'm an advice seeker

If you know me, you know I am always asking questions and constantly talking about things that are on my mind. I'm always in search of knowledge and anything that will enrich me or those dearest to me. I'm a HUGE sucker for some good advice and it just so happens I found some pretty great pieces of it today while reading through a few things.
Did you know the best way to remember something is to share it? Guess that means you're the lucky recipient of some good advice today!

We'll call this list:

"Em's list of Advice to Inspire"

1. Perfection is the enemy of getting things done
2. Stay true to who you are. Don't be intimidated, don't be sweet talked.
3. Always leave a margin (whether it be in your checking account, a parking space, even with your daily life)
4. Start the way you intend to finish.
5. It's always more effective to be civil.
6. If you can't find a place to get involved, create one (the hubs is actually in the process of doing this right now. He's starting an Improv Troupe. Pretty proud of him)
7. The best way out is always through.
8. Remember that the days are long but the years are short.
9. Don't cry over anything that can't cry over you. (that piece of china you've had since your wedding that broke last week......)
10. If there's not a solution, there is not a problem.
11. Relax. Daily stressors seem like the end of the world, don't let them cloud what's important.
12. Follow your own advice (this is where I refer to #11)


I read something that my BFF Oprah wrote recently, it said "the right words at the right time can set you on a new path, open your eyes to something you hadn't considered, and make the road of life a little easier to navigate." I am a total believer in that, and the words above are definitely included in that quote.

Have a great day! Thanks for stopping by!

Generosity, not what you think it is.

So you know that book I told you about (you can see here if you missed it), well I have some more amazing-ness to share with you from it.

When you think of generosity what do you think of? I think of giving. Either giving of my time, my money, things, stuff, etc. There's a total different definition of it though:

"Generosity... is a way of being in the world, not a way of giving in the world. It has little to do with giving gifts, and everything to do with giving space to others to be who they are."

Wow. I read that and that was the only thought in my mind.
Wow.

There are so many people in this world. So many different kinds of people. We look different, we speak different, we think different, we act different, we feel different.....you get the idea. By being generous {giving space to others to be who they are} we are being inclusive. Creating inclusion requires being generous.

"Most often {creating inclusion} consists of simply extending a hand. That's hard to do if you are grasping tightly to your rightness, your belief system, your superiority, your assumptions about others, your definition of normal."   (FYI, I am totally and completely included in the word "your")

Patti Digh, the author, writes about her daughter's favorite "goth" store in the mall, and the boy with dreadlocks and tattoos and big holes in his earlobes who works there and how, with "great kindness", he answers all of her "Uncool Parent Questions" like: "how do you get your earlobes to do that? what does vote for pedro mean? how do you eat with that big metal thing in your tongue?"

Then she says this, and I thought this was pretty amazing:

"He and I moved from difference to similarity, not by ignoring the differences, but by walking straight toward them and talking about them."

 How awesome would our world be, if instead of ignoring our differences and passing judgements about someone in our minds etc, we walked straight toward them and talked about them in a generous, inclusive way?

Generosity comes from opening ourselves to others. "We are often more generous to people we perceive to be like us. We must extend that generosity to those we think are unlike us."

Source

Good stuff.

Good good stuff.
What do you think?

 {thanks for stopping by!!!!}

 

Let's be fools together

I'm reading this amazing book along with my bestest of best friends {who happens to live in Washington for the moment} it's called "Life is a Verb" by Patti Digh. I HIGHLY recommend it.

HIGHLY.

I've been inspired over and over again as I read it, and I'm only on page 37! It's one of those books you want to read slow and write in and underline and highlight and carry a notebook with you so you can write down your thoughts. It's THAT good. {No, I'm not being paid to say any of this, my blog is pretty darn awesome but it's not THAT awesome} My bff {shout out to Beaner!} and I are actually keeping our own blog about it, so we can write our thoughts down and share them with each other...you know book club style.

A few of the highlights so far I'd love to share with you:

*To fully live, we must be present in the biggest way possible. This isn't about other people, it's not about changing the world in big ways, it's not even about doing huge things. It's about doing small things that "give you life, bring you joy, help you inhabit the stories of your days-and, by extension, help change the world and the lives of others around you"

*Change doesn't come to us when we sit and wait for it. Great change doesn't come with official endorsement. It's pointed out that people like Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Picasso and SO MANY OTHERS didn't wait for permission and their actions brought about a lot of change, for  so.many.people. "Change occurs at the edges, without permission." We can't wait for the conditions to change before we MAKE a change, we'd be waiting far too long.

And lastly, before I bore you with my intense deep thoughts, a Japanese Proverb:

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.

Thanks for stopping by! 

Sharing is caring

I love positive and uplifting quotes. Ask the hubs, I'm obsessed. It's not a bad thing to focus energy on if you ask me. Here are a few I've come across recently that I'd love to share with y'all (and I completely forgot to keep track of where I got them from, so don't sue me if one is yours and I didn't credit you please!):


Thanks for showin' up!

Brain things.

I don't have much to say.
Actually, I have SO MUCH to say...that I have no clue what to say.
You know how that goes, right?
......right?


My mind is swirling with thoughts. And not many of them are related. Or maybe they are...and after I list them here I'll see the connection?

1. We want to sell our house but are worried we won't make enough to even break even so we're just starting the process of talking to a few different realtors to figure it all out.
2. I want to enroll the crazy boys in a parent nursery school (it's a co-op type of thing and it's ah-maze-ing) but I'm struggling with myself over it because it costs a bit of money and I am such a frugal person.
3. My dear sweat Elliot, who is 4, has decided talking back and even yelling "no!" at me sometimes is part of his life now. I wasn't expecting this to be a part of my life for some reason. 
4. The hubs and I are in charge of some fun entertainment at a church activity this weekend and while everything is planned for, there are still a few loose ends that need to be wrapped up.
5.  On top of all that, I was told last week that I'm having some heart problems. Totally 100% unexpected. I'm trying to figure out how all that works now and have to get more tests tomorrow.

So......after writing that down and re-reading it 17.4 times, I think I know what the deal is. I'm pretty anxious and apprehensive about #5 (who wouldn't be?! Hearts are kind of important!) so I'm trying to occupy my time with anything else. Maybe? Well, either way.....that's what's happening in my brain today.

You know what? I would LOVE it if you have experience with any of the above things and you felt like you wanted to share your thoughts with me. For reals. I would love it.

To top off this  craziness, I saw this last night and I thought it totally 1 million percent pertained to me. So, I'm sharing cause I'm cool like that:

Thanks for stopping by! Don't forget to tell me all of your deep thoughts about my crazy brain!

Guest Post with "Moore from Katie"!

 Good Morning! Today I have a guest post from Katie at "Moore from Katie." Katie emailed me last week and asked if she could contribute to this awesome blog you all love to read and I said "heck yes!" She has a fresh perspective on motherhood and pregnancy and I think it's great stuff. Thank you Katie!
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Postpartum Doulas: Nurturing the Mother
  Originally, the word doula referred to a woman who served the mistress of a Greek household. This head servant assisted the mistress through her pregnancy, during childbirth and through the postpartum period. The responsibilities of a doula, while evolving, have stayed very true to this original meaning. Today, a doula refers to a trained and experienced person who assists future and new moms through the entire pregnancy, birth and postpartum process by providing emotional, physical, informational and practical support. There are two types of doulas: birth doulas and postpartum doulas, each with its own set of responsibilities and functions.

Birth Doula 
A birth doula assists the pregnant woman through the pregnancy and childbirth process and in the immediate moments after birth. She provides support and information to help the future mother make decisions and helps to make the entire birth experience as close to ideal for the mother as possible. A pregnant woman will generally have hundreds of questions about what to expect in the delivery room so a doula can help answer those questions and provide advice on things like pain management choices and optional procedures like circumcision and umbilical cord blood banking.

Postpartum Doula
A postpartum doula’s responsibilities begin when the baby is born and continue throughout the initial weeks of the baby’s life. She is there to provide emotional, physical, informational and practical support for all the members of the family to ease the transition of the new baby in the home. During this time, the doula is also a companion to the mother and can help her with the challenges posed by receiving the newborn. According to Doulas of North America, a postpartum doula “offers evidence-based information on infant feeding, emotional and physical recovery from birth, infant soothing and coping skills for new parents and makes appropriate referrals when necessary.”

Doulas do not simply tell the mother how they should be doing things. They actually support the mother and educate them as she settles into her new role and make the entire transition easier through hands-on lessons. A doula also looks out for signs and symptoms of postpartum depression in a mother and works to help alleviate any of those feelings.

 A postpartum doula can work with a mother for just a few short visits or up to as long as they are needed. Some postpartum doulas can be full-time companions to the mom during this period, while others can spend shorter shifts of just a few hours per day or a few times a week with the mom. During this time the doula focuses on the needs of the new mom just as much as on the needs of the newborn, since nurturing the mother is one of the postpartum doula’s goals. A nurtured mother who knows she is supported is less anxious when taking care of her child, since she knows she is surrounded by loving people who are ready to assist her and help her embrace her new role.

In their role of supporting the mother during this very special and delicate time, postpartum doulas will also often include other services such as cooking, running errands, babysitting and even doing some light housework to allow the mother to spend her time recovering and bonding with her newborn, instead of fretting about how to balance her other responsibilities with the needs of the baby.

“Katie Moore has written and submitted this article. Katie is an active blogger who discusses the topics of motherhood, children, fitness, health and all other things Mommy. She enjoys writing, blogging, and meeting new people! To connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26.”

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Thanks for stopping by! (don't you wish you had a doula to hang out with every day, regardless of if you're having a baby or not?!? I do!)  Go give Katie some love!