Stress and fight or flight

You know what the hardest things about keeping a blog about things you find that inspire you? Finding the time to write the things down as they happen.
Because if something happens that is inspiring, and you don't write it down RIGHT AWAY, it no longer seems inspiring enough an hour later.....and then the game of "oh, that wasn't inspiring enough for me to write down really anyway" happens and then it never gets written down.

I don't even know if I'm making any sense....but this I do know: I'm awake before my kidlets and I'm reading something inspiring and I'm sitting down to write it down, and it's amazing.

Since August, I've been suffering from infrequent heart palpitations. This is something that came on completely unexpectedly and freaked me out...
Especially when I happened to be at the doctor while they were happening and I ended up being ushered to an EKG, bloodwork and then scheduled for an Echo-cardiogram. Thankfully, my heart has no physical abnormalities, there's nothing technically "wrong" with it. So why am I having this issue?

Stress.

I've made lists in my head and hurried through them too many times. I've put a ton of importance on small things. I've tried to control things I can't control. I've worried about so many little things that I've turned into big things. In short, I've sweated about the small stuff. A lot.

No,
A ton.

And according to the doctors, all of this un-needed stress I have put on myself (which is HIGHLY common in women, the over-achieving-trying-to-please-everyone-at-every-second lot that we are) is taking it's toll. They prescribed me something, I didn't take it. I wanted to see if I could control this without the meds. So I researched. And I came up with things like drinking a glass of grape juice, taking magnesium, lavender essential oil (holy crap, that stuff is amazing) and meditation to name a few. And they've helped. I'm figuring out the triggers, learning how to cope. It may be something I struggle with for a long time, maybe not. Only time (and my ability to de-stress) will tell.

Why am I telling you this? Because I was just reading an article about people who went on a retreat in order to "heal" themselves from whatever ailed them. Some of the people had chronic pain (think fibromyalgia) others were unsure of their path in life, some were stuck in unhealthy patterns etc. The woman with fibromyalgia was highlighted for a minute as she brought up all the conflict in the world in the midst of the calm she was feeling.

The author (Martha Beck) pointed out that this is one reason why the woman has fibromyalgia to begin with: because she is continuously tensed for flight, her system exhausted by stress hormones.

I read that and a HUMONGOUS light when on in my brain.
That's me.
I'm the one who is continuously tensed for flight.
I'm continuously exhausting my body with stress.
My heart knows this and recognizes this...and I think I'd even go so far as to say that I'm in for even bigger health issues if I continue on the path of flight and stress.

She then goes on to tell about how this doesn't happen to animals. Animals are alert, but always have a quiet mindset.

"When danger appears, they notice it immediately. 

When peace is available, they accept it. Always."

Another light bulb moment for me. 

When danger appears (for me "danger" means a situation that I would find reasons to stress over), taking notice is an ok thing to do. But dwelling on it? 

Not ok. 

I'm going to work on this. For reals. 

Cause not only is my body reacting to my frequent stress of anything "dangerous" but I have 

3 perfect little people who look to me to set an example for them.

And I want that example to be of peace, not crazy stress. 

I hope you are having a great day. 

And if you aren't, change it =)

(This post is linked with Parenting BY Dummies for Wordful Wednesday)

 

Hi, my name is Emily and I'm an advice seeker

If you know me, you know I am always asking questions and constantly talking about things that are on my mind. I'm always in search of knowledge and anything that will enrich me or those dearest to me. I'm a HUGE sucker for some good advice and it just so happens I found some pretty great pieces of it today while reading through a few things.
Did you know the best way to remember something is to share it? Guess that means you're the lucky recipient of some good advice today!

We'll call this list:

"Em's list of Advice to Inspire"

1. Perfection is the enemy of getting things done
2. Stay true to who you are. Don't be intimidated, don't be sweet talked.
3. Always leave a margin (whether it be in your checking account, a parking space, even with your daily life)
4. Start the way you intend to finish.
5. It's always more effective to be civil.
6. If you can't find a place to get involved, create one (the hubs is actually in the process of doing this right now. He's starting an Improv Troupe. Pretty proud of him)
7. The best way out is always through.
8. Remember that the days are long but the years are short.
9. Don't cry over anything that can't cry over you. (that piece of china you've had since your wedding that broke last week......)
10. If there's not a solution, there is not a problem.
11. Relax. Daily stressors seem like the end of the world, don't let them cloud what's important.
12. Follow your own advice (this is where I refer to #11)


I read something that my BFF Oprah wrote recently, it said "the right words at the right time can set you on a new path, open your eyes to something you hadn't considered, and make the road of life a little easier to navigate." I am a total believer in that, and the words above are definitely included in that quote.

Have a great day! Thanks for stopping by!

Generosity, not what you think it is.

So you know that book I told you about (you can see here if you missed it), well I have some more amazing-ness to share with you from it.

When you think of generosity what do you think of? I think of giving. Either giving of my time, my money, things, stuff, etc. There's a total different definition of it though:

"Generosity... is a way of being in the world, not a way of giving in the world. It has little to do with giving gifts, and everything to do with giving space to others to be who they are."

Wow. I read that and that was the only thought in my mind.
Wow.

There are so many people in this world. So many different kinds of people. We look different, we speak different, we think different, we act different, we feel different.....you get the idea. By being generous {giving space to others to be who they are} we are being inclusive. Creating inclusion requires being generous.

"Most often {creating inclusion} consists of simply extending a hand. That's hard to do if you are grasping tightly to your rightness, your belief system, your superiority, your assumptions about others, your definition of normal."   (FYI, I am totally and completely included in the word "your")

Patti Digh, the author, writes about her daughter's favorite "goth" store in the mall, and the boy with dreadlocks and tattoos and big holes in his earlobes who works there and how, with "great kindness", he answers all of her "Uncool Parent Questions" like: "how do you get your earlobes to do that? what does vote for pedro mean? how do you eat with that big metal thing in your tongue?"

Then she says this, and I thought this was pretty amazing:

"He and I moved from difference to similarity, not by ignoring the differences, but by walking straight toward them and talking about them."

 How awesome would our world be, if instead of ignoring our differences and passing judgements about someone in our minds etc, we walked straight toward them and talked about them in a generous, inclusive way?

Generosity comes from opening ourselves to others. "We are often more generous to people we perceive to be like us. We must extend that generosity to those we think are unlike us."

Source

Good stuff.

Good good stuff.
What do you think?

 {thanks for stopping by!!!!}

 

Let's be fools together

I'm reading this amazing book along with my bestest of best friends {who happens to live in Washington for the moment} it's called "Life is a Verb" by Patti Digh. I HIGHLY recommend it.

HIGHLY.

I've been inspired over and over again as I read it, and I'm only on page 37! It's one of those books you want to read slow and write in and underline and highlight and carry a notebook with you so you can write down your thoughts. It's THAT good. {No, I'm not being paid to say any of this, my blog is pretty darn awesome but it's not THAT awesome} My bff {shout out to Beaner!} and I are actually keeping our own blog about it, so we can write our thoughts down and share them with each other...you know book club style.

A few of the highlights so far I'd love to share with you:

*To fully live, we must be present in the biggest way possible. This isn't about other people, it's not about changing the world in big ways, it's not even about doing huge things. It's about doing small things that "give you life, bring you joy, help you inhabit the stories of your days-and, by extension, help change the world and the lives of others around you"

*Change doesn't come to us when we sit and wait for it. Great change doesn't come with official endorsement. It's pointed out that people like Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Picasso and SO MANY OTHERS didn't wait for permission and their actions brought about a lot of change, for  so.many.people. "Change occurs at the edges, without permission." We can't wait for the conditions to change before we MAKE a change, we'd be waiting far too long.

And lastly, before I bore you with my intense deep thoughts, a Japanese Proverb:

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.

Thanks for stopping by! 

Sharing is caring

I love positive and uplifting quotes. Ask the hubs, I'm obsessed. It's not a bad thing to focus energy on if you ask me. Here are a few I've come across recently that I'd love to share with y'all (and I completely forgot to keep track of where I got them from, so don't sue me if one is yours and I didn't credit you please!):


Thanks for showin' up!

Brain things.

I don't have much to say.
Actually, I have SO MUCH to say...that I have no clue what to say.
You know how that goes, right?
......right?


My mind is swirling with thoughts. And not many of them are related. Or maybe they are...and after I list them here I'll see the connection?

1. We want to sell our house but are worried we won't make enough to even break even so we're just starting the process of talking to a few different realtors to figure it all out.
2. I want to enroll the crazy boys in a parent nursery school (it's a co-op type of thing and it's ah-maze-ing) but I'm struggling with myself over it because it costs a bit of money and I am such a frugal person.
3. My dear sweat Elliot, who is 4, has decided talking back and even yelling "no!" at me sometimes is part of his life now. I wasn't expecting this to be a part of my life for some reason. 
4. The hubs and I are in charge of some fun entertainment at a church activity this weekend and while everything is planned for, there are still a few loose ends that need to be wrapped up.
5.  On top of all that, I was told last week that I'm having some heart problems. Totally 100% unexpected. I'm trying to figure out how all that works now and have to get more tests tomorrow.

So......after writing that down and re-reading it 17.4 times, I think I know what the deal is. I'm pretty anxious and apprehensive about #5 (who wouldn't be?! Hearts are kind of important!) so I'm trying to occupy my time with anything else. Maybe? Well, either way.....that's what's happening in my brain today.

You know what? I would LOVE it if you have experience with any of the above things and you felt like you wanted to share your thoughts with me. For reals. I would love it.

To top off this  craziness, I saw this last night and I thought it totally 1 million percent pertained to me. So, I'm sharing cause I'm cool like that:

Thanks for stopping by! Don't forget to tell me all of your deep thoughts about my crazy brain!

Guest Post with "Moore from Katie"!

 Good Morning! Today I have a guest post from Katie at "Moore from Katie." Katie emailed me last week and asked if she could contribute to this awesome blog you all love to read and I said "heck yes!" She has a fresh perspective on motherhood and pregnancy and I think it's great stuff. Thank you Katie!
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Postpartum Doulas: Nurturing the Mother
  Originally, the word doula referred to a woman who served the mistress of a Greek household. This head servant assisted the mistress through her pregnancy, during childbirth and through the postpartum period. The responsibilities of a doula, while evolving, have stayed very true to this original meaning. Today, a doula refers to a trained and experienced person who assists future and new moms through the entire pregnancy, birth and postpartum process by providing emotional, physical, informational and practical support. There are two types of doulas: birth doulas and postpartum doulas, each with its own set of responsibilities and functions.

Birth Doula 
A birth doula assists the pregnant woman through the pregnancy and childbirth process and in the immediate moments after birth. She provides support and information to help the future mother make decisions and helps to make the entire birth experience as close to ideal for the mother as possible. A pregnant woman will generally have hundreds of questions about what to expect in the delivery room so a doula can help answer those questions and provide advice on things like pain management choices and optional procedures like circumcision and umbilical cord blood banking.

Postpartum Doula
A postpartum doula’s responsibilities begin when the baby is born and continue throughout the initial weeks of the baby’s life. She is there to provide emotional, physical, informational and practical support for all the members of the family to ease the transition of the new baby in the home. During this time, the doula is also a companion to the mother and can help her with the challenges posed by receiving the newborn. According to Doulas of North America, a postpartum doula “offers evidence-based information on infant feeding, emotional and physical recovery from birth, infant soothing and coping skills for new parents and makes appropriate referrals when necessary.”

Doulas do not simply tell the mother how they should be doing things. They actually support the mother and educate them as she settles into her new role and make the entire transition easier through hands-on lessons. A doula also looks out for signs and symptoms of postpartum depression in a mother and works to help alleviate any of those feelings.

 A postpartum doula can work with a mother for just a few short visits or up to as long as they are needed. Some postpartum doulas can be full-time companions to the mom during this period, while others can spend shorter shifts of just a few hours per day or a few times a week with the mom. During this time the doula focuses on the needs of the new mom just as much as on the needs of the newborn, since nurturing the mother is one of the postpartum doula’s goals. A nurtured mother who knows she is supported is less anxious when taking care of her child, since she knows she is surrounded by loving people who are ready to assist her and help her embrace her new role.

In their role of supporting the mother during this very special and delicate time, postpartum doulas will also often include other services such as cooking, running errands, babysitting and even doing some light housework to allow the mother to spend her time recovering and bonding with her newborn, instead of fretting about how to balance her other responsibilities with the needs of the baby.

“Katie Moore has written and submitted this article. Katie is an active blogger who discusses the topics of motherhood, children, fitness, health and all other things Mommy. She enjoys writing, blogging, and meeting new people! To connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26.”

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Thanks for stopping by! (don't you wish you had a doula to hang out with every day, regardless of if you're having a baby or not?!? I do!)  Go give Katie some love!

 

Playing catch up. or road tripping. or deep thoughts

Seriously, it's August?
This means it is going to be 110 degrees at my house today.
This also means the little crazy people we like to call "our boys" around here will be inside this afternoon because it's too.dang.hot. to be outside. Unless they're swimming.

So, I was thinking about all of the things I should have been writing about these past couple weeks, but somehow I've been remiss in my blogging. I've started working out hard core {4 inches gone off my hips and waist, boo-yah!}, I've begun learning how to meditate {amazing stuff} and we've gone on a road trip {14 hours each way. I am superwoman}. I was stressing {apparently one of my favorite past times} about how to fit all of this in on my blog and make it fun and interesting and readable and all that stuff when I had this thought:

It's not about playing catch-up.

Deep right?!?!?!
Well, I thought it was.

So, instead of playing catch-up with you, I'll just share some of my favorite pictures from our trip.
{What's this trip I speak of? Driving from central California to Washington to visit beloved friends and family. We left on a Monday morning at 2am, arrived on a Tuesday afternoon around 1pm and drove back that Friday night at 10pm, arriving the very next day...which was Saturday if you're able to keep up with my ramblings, at 1pm. Long trip. Great trip. Loved it. Would take a road trip with my crazy family again any day}

I LOVE this! The classic "let's try to take a cute picture.....but wait! a duck!!"

Once again, love this. There was no duck involved in these pictures though.

This picture just says "joy" to me

Saw this iconic sign, grabbed hubs by the shoulder and said: "look! Grey's Anatomy!" Ridiculous, I know.

On our way to the zoo. Elliot is holding hands with his cousin Chloe while she sits in her stroller. So adorable..

Camel Ride!!

Happy happy happy.

 So, there's the extent of my catch-up.
And I'll leave you with this very pertinent thought:

"In rivers, that which you touch is the last of what has passed and the first of that which comes. So it is with present time."
—Leonardo da Vinci

 
 Thanks for stopping by!!!!!! I love your comments!!

 

Risk Managment, a mother's feelings

Today I woke up to hear about the horrible shooting that happened in a movie theater last night.
 A movie theater.
 A place where people frequent and where people let their children frequent and where people feel safe.

This horrible incident called to mind the struggle I've been having lately with my emotions in regards to letting my kids do things on their own.
Little teeny things.
Things like walking ahead of me on our walk, or playing outside in our backyard unsupervised, or being babysat by someone who isn't a family member. Yes, I'm one of THOSE mom's. Call me overprotective or crazy, whatever you'd like, I love having my babies close and have a hard time letting go, even for the little things.
 
 It seems there was an article placed in a magazine I read frequently just for me this month. It's about letting your child handle more freedom (when you put it that way, it doesn't sound so hard does it?) The author talks about how she lets her kids wander and explore a lot on their own, but that their family is in a tiny minority, saying "today most kids' lives are monitored 24/7, and independent wanderings exist only in the pages of Little House on the Prairie." She cites an experience in Mississippi a few years back where a 10-year-old boy walking by himself to soccer practice incited anxious phone calls to 911 from a few mothers driving by.

The author goes on to say that hallmarks of relaxed parenting are disappearing, like paper routes. Now you have to be 18 to have a paper route, and you drive. Not too many years ago, the paper routes were ridden on bikes by young boys and girls. "There's this myth that we can prevent anything bad, from disappointment to death, if we only watch our children more carefully." I'm not going to lie, I hold on to that myth. I KNOW it's a myth, that things will happen, but I still hold on to it. (Crazy mom)

A few great points from the article that have helped me WANT to let my kids have a teeny tiny bit more freedom (I said WANT....not that it's happening yet.....)

• Unmonitored friend time, even if it's rowdy and chaotic, is a vital part of childhood (Stuart Brown, M.D., founder of the National Institute for Play)
• Kids start to know themselves and how they relate to others by having unmonitored friend time.
• Kids gain real in-the-moment experience figuring out how to manage life when they are faced with unexpected situations (like losing their money etc) and this is the single most important skill a kid can have.
• Patty Wetterling, who helped launched the AMBER alert system after her son was abducted in 1999 says that "kids should be walking around smart, not scared."
• Overprotecting children keeps them from experiencing and resolving disappointment and failure (Bernardo J. Carducci, Ph.D., professor of Psychology)
• "Kids who don't learn to handle frustration become fearful. They're the teenagers who won't try new extracurricular activities. When they arrive at college, they retreat to their rooms and play video games rather than going out and connecting with others." (Bernardo J. Carducci Ph.D.)
• Overinvolved parents are often addressing their own need for closeness rather than giving kids the space they need.
• Being a supportive parent, in other words, can't always mean doing what's comfortable. It's also about bearing the anxiety and consequences that occur when your child strikes out for new territories.

To sum it all up, if parents encourage free-spiritedness, children will show us just how creative and resourceful they are.
And I'd love to have children that are creative and resourceful.

This morning when I posted on facebook about the horror that happened last night in Colorado and how it makes me want to keep my kids even closer, a friend of mine (who had the agonizing experience of losing a son a few years ago, he was also a friend of mine) made a very wise comment that I'd like to close with. She said "I know how you feel but I also have learned that although we can't protect them, Heavenly Father is watching over them. Even when things do happen He is in charge and it will be okay. Not that I'm downplaying the tragedy. I know how hard it is but I've also learned that faith gets you through it."

Faith gets you through it. And I'm leaning on that faith to get me through raising these sweet children of mine and to be able to let them grow and be free-spirits and learn in this world. 


Thanks for stopping by. My apologies for the length (and mainly serious nature) of this post. I'd love to hear your comments, feel free to share your experiences of how you coped with giving your children more room to grow.

(and if you'd like to read the article I referenced, you can find it in the July issue of Family Circle titled "Risk Management" by Elizabeth Foy Larsen)

Holy re-do the kitchen batman!

Wow.
When I woke up Monday morning, I wasn't even thinking about painting my kitchen counter.
or the walls in the kitchen.
or the kitchen cabinets.....
yet here we are, Wednesday, and the countertop is a beautiful shade of cobblestone {care of Rust-oleum Countertop coating...no they are not paying me to say that}and I have now taped up the kitchen in order to paint the walls a light blue {since the brown we painted on the wall 2 years ago now looks absolutely horrid next to the new cobblestone countertop}.
Tonight after the monsters children go to sleep, the hubs and I will be tackling the wall. And by tackling, I mean painting. You can't really tackle a wall........{cornball, I know}

So, I'm sure you're dying, just DYING, to know what I thought of the Rust-oleum Countertop Coating. Here's my thoughts:
PROS
1. It goes on super easy, the only prep work you have to do is clean the counter off 
2. It is cheap. $20 a can, and it put 3 coats on my countertop {I didn't really need 3 coats, but we'll get to that later}
3. It is a big step up from the ugly yellowish-brown countertops that have been in this house since it was born {1993} {yes, I said born}

CONS
1. It stinks Bad. Really strong odor. We had to leave the house and crash my in-laws for a surprise dinner visit {thanks in-laws!}
2. They don't tell you that you need a special sponge roller, so I used a regular roller the first 2 coats and kept getting little roller-fuzz all over the counter. After sanding it down and getting expert advice from a lady at Sherwin-Williams, we used a sponge roller and it looked much better. But I wish I had known about the roller before I started....so now you know if you ever decide to do it!
3. After the 3rd coat, I noticed cracks in the paint. I'm guessing this is from not waiting the 3 days to let it cure {oh yeah, you have to let it dry for 3 days....} before I did the last coat. Now that it is more dry, the cracks are still there, but it's not horrid. It's still a huge step up from what we had.
4. The texture of the paint is different on my countertop in certain places. I read up on this and others had this problem too. For some people it's an absolute deal breaker, but like I said, it's still a step up from what we had before.

Let me guess, you want to see pictures now? Well, I don't have the most amazing light in my kitchen so the pictures don't do it justice, but I'll post them anyway. Just know, it's much nicer than the picture =)

the top 2 are before, the bottom 2 are after

Like I said, the pictures don't do it justice. But pictures are important, so there you go. You are all invited over to come see for yourself if you'd like =)

And here are a couple more pictures of why I hate doing anything to my kitchen that doesn't involve cooking:

Clutter.
Mess.
Things that are supposed to be in the kitchen but are on my dining table and the stove top.
Ugh. It stresses me out.
But I do see the bright side in all of this: that I own a house. I live in a safe, clean, happy house where I have the ability to make changes as I see fit.
That is a blessing.
All of the mess and clutter and stress are worth it, fo' shizzle my nizzle.

Thanks for stopping by! Soon, I'll post pictures of the COMPLETED kitchen, YAY!

 

As random as they come

My brain has seriously been going a mile a minute. No, more like 10 thousand miles a minute. I always have a to-do list in my head. A few days ago, I said that to-do list out loud with the hubs in attendance. His response? "My goodness, that's enough to make any sane person crazy, is that really what goes on in your head?"

My response? All.day.long.

Such is life though, right? I mean, if it's not the laundry, it's the dishes. If it's not the dishes, it's watering the garden {next project, putting in an irrigation system so I can take the watering the garden off my to-do list}. If it's not the garden, it's changing diapers. If it's not changing diapers, it's putting a child in yet another time-out and lovingly explaining to him why he was put there.....for what seems like the 50th time that day.

I think you catch my drift. I've finally got a routine down though and life with a 4 year old, 2 year old and 3 month old is moving along at lightening speed. It's moving way too fast. As much as I can't wait for the 2 year old to be out of diapers, I don't want him to grow up! As much as I want the 4 year old to wipe his own butt after he uses the bathroom {vulgar, I know....I'm not apologizing though!} I don't want him to stop depending on me! It's ridiculous, a total contradiction. My life is a contradiction. But I totally wouldn't change a second of it.

So, here's a few pictures to show you what has been going on in the life of me the last month when I've been ignoring my beloved blog {I really do love my blog. I think about it every day. For realsies}

He turned 2!!! AHHHHHH!!!!

She got blessed at church =)

and learned how to look even more adorable

The hubs GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!!!!!!!

and He turns 4 next month, AHHHHH!!!!

Well, it's a bunch of randomness, but it is what it is. And another random thought for you: I love instagram.  Alright, the end.

{Thanks for stopping by!! I LOVE your comments {nudge nudge, wink wink} !!!}

 

Wordful Wednesday: Sometimes I get tired, then I remember

I spend my days either nursing a baby, holding a baby in my arms or walking around with a baby in a sling of some sort. I'm kind of one of those "attachment parenting" types, the kind that doesn't like to put the precious babe down unless I have to. This isn't everyone's style, and what works for one doesn't work for another, and I get that. This isn't a post about parenting styles though. It's a post about how tired I am at the end of the day from choosing to carrying around said baby and how bad my feet, knees and back hurt and how sometimes I just can't hold in the complaining. But today, I've had an epiphany and have decided not to complain anymore.

Why?

Because this is my last baby. And it won't be long before she's big enough to sit by herself and play. And she won't want to sit and nurse for hours on end. And she won't want to be carried around in a sling. This is all kind of hitting me now.

I should be savoring every minute I get to spend cuddled up with this little woman. Because she's the last baby that I'll get to do it with.

It's kind of sad. But also so exciting to move into a completely different part of my life. The part where I am actually raising kids, and teaching them what is right and wrong, and watching them grow and learn and make mistakes and have huge amazing accomplishments. As someone once said to me, it's a 3 ring circus and we're all in a different ring at the circus, and I'm moving from the ring where I'm pregnant and having babies to the ring where I actually start watching them grow up.

I could go on and on about how all of this is making me feel. But that would take a lot of my time {and yours} to just ramble and ramble and there's a couple of crazy boys getting a little too rough in the wrestling arena to my right {no, we don't have an actual wrestling arena......but we should}
so I'll just say thanks for stopping by!
And now I'm going to go referee a match.

(this post is linked with parenting BY dummies for wordful/wordless wednesday)
 

Wordful Wednesday: An Update

I haven't posted in a week and my last post wasn't the most upbeat that's for sure (if you missed it and you're interested, you can read about my postpartum depression here). I didn't want everyone to think I'm a big ball of depressed mess, so I thought I'd give ya'll an update on the situation at this house of crazies.

Big brother Elliot, adoring his little sister

I've actually gotten into the swing of things pretty fast, mothering 3 kids instead of 2. The hubs has been back to work for a week (today is his birthday actually, happy birthday hubs!) and I don't feel nearly as overwhelmed as I did a week ago. Yes, the stress level can still be high at times when I have a crying newborn that I can't pick up because I'm dealing with a 2 year old's poopy diaper or a fight between brothers or a cat that's being horrifically tortured by the 2 year old......but the stress is only temporary.

I've found my biggest problem to be my patience. I find myself so quick to raise my voice at my boys {though fighting, torturing a cat, hitting their sister with a toy etc is grounds for raising my voice in my opinion....} and I would really feel better at the end of the day if I did that less. That was my goal for today actually, to not yell. I've done pretty good =)

I am still fighting the depression but it's not nearly as bad as it was. I find myself having more good times than bad. My back hurts like a mother at the end of the day from either carrying Gwen around in my arms or in a sling, but I try to keep a good outlook on the pain and tell myself I'm creating more muscles in my back  =)

This is how I spend most of the day, keeping busy with a newborn in a sling {thanks to my sister for making the sling!}

Everyone is finally starting to get healthy. My biggest fear came true and Gwen ended up getting pretty sick, but I'm so grateful she never spiked a fever and didn't have to go back to the doctor. Just a lot of sleepless nights on the couch sucking out her nose with a bulb syringe.

So, that's my update. I'm hanging in there and really appreciate all of the support I received through my last post. Thank you all for your kind words and offers for help. Here's to more upbeat posts in the near future!

{this post is linked with parenting BY dummies for Wordful/Wordless Wednesday}


 

Things I can't say: Postpartum Depression

This post is very hard for me to write. I am a proud person who doesn't like to admit when things are tough. But that is exactly what I am about to do.

Today the hubs went back to work after being home for 3 weeks while I recovered from my c-section {still working on that part} and to help out with the boys {which he did incredibly well, I am so immensely grateful for him. I love you hubs. I couldn't do any of this without you by my side.} My wonderful mother came over for 3 hours this morning so I could take a shower and not have to worry about the boys harming the new girl {you are amazing mom, thank you for all that you've done for me these past few weeks.} Other than those 3 hours, I've been doing it on my own. I knew this would be hard. It's not much worse than I expected really, it's just hard.

There are a few things that are making this harder on me than I expected though.

My {almost} 2 year old has a double ear infection, a runny nose and a cough. He is having an incredibly hard time with the fact he isn't the baby anymore. He isn't taking this out on his new sister {thank goodness} he's taking it out on me. That's hard. Really hard for me.

My {almost} 4 year old woke up this morning with an extreme runny nose and a horrid cough and spent most of the morning coughing in his newborn sisters face any chance he could get. I highly doubt he was doing this to harm her, it's just how it was happening. He is also having a very hard time adjusting to a new sister and is also taking it out on me {and his little brother.} Thankfully, he adores his little sister. I just wish he could actually be close to her when he wants to, but he can't because he's sick. And I'm terrified of the baby getting sick.

Then there's Gwen. My wonderful 3 week old {today} daughter. This is the part that is making my days even harder {and I wasn't planning on writing about this, but here it goes.} On Monday, we went to the pediatrician for a typical well-check and we ended the appt. with the pediatrician taking pictures of Gwen's beautiful face and saying she's a bit concerned about her stork bites/birth marks/whatever you usually call them and wants to make sure they aren't associated with a brain hemangioma. Gwen may need to have an MRI at 4 months. I have been crying over this for 3 days now. The fact that something could possibly be wrong with my beautiful new baby is more than I can handle. The Dr. then tells me not to stress out, but all I hear are the words "broken blood vessel in the brain" "MRI" "sedation." I don't hear: "I'm just being cautious, I just want someone who has more experience with this to take a look {shes's going to see a dermatologist in the next few weeks}. It could just be stork bites but I want to make sure." Of course I don't hold on to those words. I hold onto the horrible scary words. Yes there are the good things: they're being cautious, if it really is anything at least they're being proactive about it yadda yadda yadda.

But I'm dealing with horrible postpartum depression here. This news, on top of a 2 year old with double ear infections who is mad at me because he's not the baby anymore and a 4 year old who is sick and mad at me too just feels like too much.

Some minutes {yes minutes, not even hours or days} I feel amazing. Like a true superwoman. Like I can do this, I can change diapers and feed little people and keep the house clean and do it all with a smile and a cheerful heart. Other minutes I am a wreck and feel overwhelmed and sad and ugly and fat and horrible.

I know this is all very personal.
But I needed to get it out there.
Postpartum depression is something that happens to many many women.
And it's happening to me.
And I'm trying my best to keep it all together and ask for help when I need it.

I know this will all get better....eventually.
I know I am never given more than I can handle.
I know I have people who love me and support me.
Knowing all of this makes each day just a little bit more bearable.

Thanks for reading.
{This post is linked with Things I Can't Say for Pour Your Heart Out}

 

Switchin' it up!

So, we've had the same gross ceiling fans in our house since we moved in 2.5 years ago. They are the same ones that were put in when the house was built in 1993. They're gross. Just gross. Old "oak" blades with 4 weird arms coming out of the center with really outdated and gross light fixtures attached {I wonder how many times I can use the word "gross" in this post?}

Anyway....a while back I was reading an article in Better Homes and Gardens about how you shouldn't have ceiling fans with light fixtures attached and I've been daydreaming about replacing our gross ones ever since.

Cause if a designer from Better Homes and Gardens Magazine says it, it's the law people. The law.

Well....we finally replaced them this week! Like a genius, I forgot to take a before picture until the hubs was already in the process of dismantling the old gross one, so you'll have to trust me on the grossness:

Before.....kind of.....

After!

I LOVE it! It give the room a completely different feel, for reals. 

Alright, I need to go eat some corned beef and cabbage now. Have a great weekend!!!

Wordless/Wordful Wednesday: A slumber party

We've got a newborn in the house

We call her out little smug...cause she's so smug

and a 2 year old with a high fever in the house
It's raining outside
So we had a slumber party in the living room
last night.
Proof:

This is obviously not the child with the fever

Maybe we were just being lazy
And didn't want to wake up a million times
to check on the feverish one
But I'd like to think we're awesome
Cause what kid doesn't like
a slumber party?

{here's to a healthier day......thanks for stopping by!}

{oh! how could I forget, I'm linking up with Parenting BY Dummies for wordful/wordless Wednesday!}

 

listable life: 5 things I wish I'd known about being a parent

All this sitting-around-on-the-couch-recovering-from-a-csection has got me chomping at the bit with blogging ideas! Seriously, my blogging creativity that was lost around the 2nd trimester has come back big time, no, HUGE time (Elliot always asks me if he's a big boy and I say "no, you're a HUGE boy!" He loves it. I thought I'd throw that out there).

Today I'm linking up over at Moments that Define Life for the most awesome Listable Life post. I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again, I love lists. Love them. Huge time.

Today, I'm going with the prompt:

5 Things I Wish I'd Known About Being a Parent.

1. That a "schedule" can be changed very quickly.

2. That the list of "important" chores gets switched around drastically.

 Some days the biggest chore that gets done is putting mascara on. Seriously.

3. That saying I wasn't going to do it the same way 

my mom did it is a load of bull-honkey. 

I've come to realize the way my mom did things was pretty much awesome.

4. That I would be judged in some way, shape, or form

by every.single.mom out there. 

Good or bad. 

Big or ridiculously small. 

The mom-judgement thing is real people.

 I'm guilty of this too. It's horrible. But it's real and it happens and I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't.

5. That I would learn to trust myself more than I ever thought I could.

When I first became a mom, it seems like I was looking to anyone with more experience for advice. As time has gone on, I've come to realize trusting my instincts is okay and that I truly do know what's best for my family.

Thanks for stopping by! I love your comments and would love to hear any of your thoughts on what you wish you'd known before becoming a parent!

 

Wordful/Wordless Wednesday: Gwen!

1 week ago today 

2.29.2012 

(she's a leap year baby!!!)

Our little girl, Gwenyth, was born! 

Born 9:42 AM to the song "She's so Heavy" by The Beatles =)

7 pounds 7 ounces (our smallest baby!)

20.5 inches long and a full head of brown wavy hair

I'm a proud mama =)

linked with parenting BY dummies for Wordful Wednesday!

The sewing bug

I'd like to start this post off by stating that I just proof-read it and it's weird and disjointed but these contractions are breaking up my concentration, so......just go with it. (why I thought writing a blog post while contracting was a good idea, I have no idea)

The sewing bug has caught me. I'm really not that good but I really do enjoy it. When I was younger, I used to love to sew so much (I took a sewing class in 7th grade that really got me going) that I made up a little ditty every time I got to use the sewing machine, it went like this:

"I get to use the sewing machiiiiinnneee, yah ee ah yah ee ah yaaaaahhhhhh" (imagine a little chubby 7th grade girl trying to sing like Cristina Aguilera...yeah, that's it....yup, ridiculous, I know)
(ps, my sisters will remember this ditty, specifically the youngest sister. Chime in Kates!)

Enough about the ditty. So, I am an impatient person, which means I don't take the time to pin things and make them perfect and cut every.single.little.thread. that hangs off after I'm "done," but nonetheless, I think the stuff turns out well enough for me to show you what I've been up to. So, here's some pretty pictures of a couple projects I've done in the last week or  so (I've needed to keep myself busy so as not to dwell on the little person in my belly who is intent on making my life extremely uncomfortable, but I digress)

First off, the diaper box into a lined bin!

I got the idea from here

 Next up, my first scrub cap!

Don't you just LOVE my model! I got the idea from here

And my second bouffant style scrub cap!

Once again, I'd like to thank my fabulous model. Here is where you can find the tutorial.

Why all the scrub caps you ask? Well, my mother-in-law (ONE of my mother-in-laws, cause I am lucky enough to have TWO) is an operating room nurse and asked if I would be able to make her a couple and I said sure! (Even though I have never sewn one in my life....fake it till you make it right? Right!) So that's why the scrub caps.

Next up, and I'm really excited about this, a t-shirt dress for my baby girl (who will be making her grand entrance THIS WEEK!) This is the fabric I am using for the skirt part:

And here is the picture of what the dress will look like when I'm all finished up:

Isn't it darling! Here is the blog that I'll be staring at while making this.

So, apparently part of my crazy nesting has to do with the sewing machine. Do you like to sew? If you're really really good, I don't want to hear it....but I do want to see your stuff!! This sewing crap is fun!

Thanks for stopping by! I doubt I'll be posting much more this week....there's a new baby coming, which is a pretty darn good excuse in my opinion! (I'm having contractions as I write this!)