Playing catch up. or road tripping. or deep thoughts

Seriously, it's August?
This means it is going to be 110 degrees at my house today.
This also means the little crazy people we like to call "our boys" around here will be inside this afternoon because it's too.dang.hot. to be outside. Unless they're swimming.

So, I was thinking about all of the things I should have been writing about these past couple weeks, but somehow I've been remiss in my blogging. I've started working out hard core {4 inches gone off my hips and waist, boo-yah!}, I've begun learning how to meditate {amazing stuff} and we've gone on a road trip {14 hours each way. I am superwoman}. I was stressing {apparently one of my favorite past times} about how to fit all of this in on my blog and make it fun and interesting and readable and all that stuff when I had this thought:

It's not about playing catch-up.

Deep right?!?!?!
Well, I thought it was.

So, instead of playing catch-up with you, I'll just share some of my favorite pictures from our trip.
{What's this trip I speak of? Driving from central California to Washington to visit beloved friends and family. We left on a Monday morning at 2am, arrived on a Tuesday afternoon around 1pm and drove back that Friday night at 10pm, arriving the very next day...which was Saturday if you're able to keep up with my ramblings, at 1pm. Long trip. Great trip. Loved it. Would take a road trip with my crazy family again any day}

I LOVE this! The classic "let's try to take a cute picture.....but wait! a duck!!"

Once again, love this. There was no duck involved in these pictures though.

This picture just says "joy" to me

Saw this iconic sign, grabbed hubs by the shoulder and said: "look! Grey's Anatomy!" Ridiculous, I know.

On our way to the zoo. Elliot is holding hands with his cousin Chloe while she sits in her stroller. So adorable..

Camel Ride!!

Happy happy happy.

 So, there's the extent of my catch-up.
And I'll leave you with this very pertinent thought:

"In rivers, that which you touch is the last of what has passed and the first of that which comes. So it is with present time."
—Leonardo da Vinci

 
 Thanks for stopping by!!!!!! I love your comments!!

 

Risk Managment, a mother's feelings

Today I woke up to hear about the horrible shooting that happened in a movie theater last night.
 A movie theater.
 A place where people frequent and where people let their children frequent and where people feel safe.

This horrible incident called to mind the struggle I've been having lately with my emotions in regards to letting my kids do things on their own.
Little teeny things.
Things like walking ahead of me on our walk, or playing outside in our backyard unsupervised, or being babysat by someone who isn't a family member. Yes, I'm one of THOSE mom's. Call me overprotective or crazy, whatever you'd like, I love having my babies close and have a hard time letting go, even for the little things.
 
 It seems there was an article placed in a magazine I read frequently just for me this month. It's about letting your child handle more freedom (when you put it that way, it doesn't sound so hard does it?) The author talks about how she lets her kids wander and explore a lot on their own, but that their family is in a tiny minority, saying "today most kids' lives are monitored 24/7, and independent wanderings exist only in the pages of Little House on the Prairie." She cites an experience in Mississippi a few years back where a 10-year-old boy walking by himself to soccer practice incited anxious phone calls to 911 from a few mothers driving by.

The author goes on to say that hallmarks of relaxed parenting are disappearing, like paper routes. Now you have to be 18 to have a paper route, and you drive. Not too many years ago, the paper routes were ridden on bikes by young boys and girls. "There's this myth that we can prevent anything bad, from disappointment to death, if we only watch our children more carefully." I'm not going to lie, I hold on to that myth. I KNOW it's a myth, that things will happen, but I still hold on to it. (Crazy mom)

A few great points from the article that have helped me WANT to let my kids have a teeny tiny bit more freedom (I said WANT....not that it's happening yet.....)

• Unmonitored friend time, even if it's rowdy and chaotic, is a vital part of childhood (Stuart Brown, M.D., founder of the National Institute for Play)
• Kids start to know themselves and how they relate to others by having unmonitored friend time.
• Kids gain real in-the-moment experience figuring out how to manage life when they are faced with unexpected situations (like losing their money etc) and this is the single most important skill a kid can have.
• Patty Wetterling, who helped launched the AMBER alert system after her son was abducted in 1999 says that "kids should be walking around smart, not scared."
• Overprotecting children keeps them from experiencing and resolving disappointment and failure (Bernardo J. Carducci, Ph.D., professor of Psychology)
• "Kids who don't learn to handle frustration become fearful. They're the teenagers who won't try new extracurricular activities. When they arrive at college, they retreat to their rooms and play video games rather than going out and connecting with others." (Bernardo J. Carducci Ph.D.)
• Overinvolved parents are often addressing their own need for closeness rather than giving kids the space they need.
• Being a supportive parent, in other words, can't always mean doing what's comfortable. It's also about bearing the anxiety and consequences that occur when your child strikes out for new territories.

To sum it all up, if parents encourage free-spiritedness, children will show us just how creative and resourceful they are.
And I'd love to have children that are creative and resourceful.

This morning when I posted on facebook about the horror that happened last night in Colorado and how it makes me want to keep my kids even closer, a friend of mine (who had the agonizing experience of losing a son a few years ago, he was also a friend of mine) made a very wise comment that I'd like to close with. She said "I know how you feel but I also have learned that although we can't protect them, Heavenly Father is watching over them. Even when things do happen He is in charge and it will be okay. Not that I'm downplaying the tragedy. I know how hard it is but I've also learned that faith gets you through it."

Faith gets you through it. And I'm leaning on that faith to get me through raising these sweet children of mine and to be able to let them grow and be free-spirits and learn in this world. 


Thanks for stopping by. My apologies for the length (and mainly serious nature) of this post. I'd love to hear your comments, feel free to share your experiences of how you coped with giving your children more room to grow.

(and if you'd like to read the article I referenced, you can find it in the July issue of Family Circle titled "Risk Management" by Elizabeth Foy Larsen)

Holy re-do the kitchen batman!

Wow.
When I woke up Monday morning, I wasn't even thinking about painting my kitchen counter.
or the walls in the kitchen.
or the kitchen cabinets.....
yet here we are, Wednesday, and the countertop is a beautiful shade of cobblestone {care of Rust-oleum Countertop coating...no they are not paying me to say that}and I have now taped up the kitchen in order to paint the walls a light blue {since the brown we painted on the wall 2 years ago now looks absolutely horrid next to the new cobblestone countertop}.
Tonight after the monsters children go to sleep, the hubs and I will be tackling the wall. And by tackling, I mean painting. You can't really tackle a wall........{cornball, I know}

So, I'm sure you're dying, just DYING, to know what I thought of the Rust-oleum Countertop Coating. Here's my thoughts:
PROS
1. It goes on super easy, the only prep work you have to do is clean the counter off 
2. It is cheap. $20 a can, and it put 3 coats on my countertop {I didn't really need 3 coats, but we'll get to that later}
3. It is a big step up from the ugly yellowish-brown countertops that have been in this house since it was born {1993} {yes, I said born}

CONS
1. It stinks Bad. Really strong odor. We had to leave the house and crash my in-laws for a surprise dinner visit {thanks in-laws!}
2. They don't tell you that you need a special sponge roller, so I used a regular roller the first 2 coats and kept getting little roller-fuzz all over the counter. After sanding it down and getting expert advice from a lady at Sherwin-Williams, we used a sponge roller and it looked much better. But I wish I had known about the roller before I started....so now you know if you ever decide to do it!
3. After the 3rd coat, I noticed cracks in the paint. I'm guessing this is from not waiting the 3 days to let it cure {oh yeah, you have to let it dry for 3 days....} before I did the last coat. Now that it is more dry, the cracks are still there, but it's not horrid. It's still a huge step up from what we had.
4. The texture of the paint is different on my countertop in certain places. I read up on this and others had this problem too. For some people it's an absolute deal breaker, but like I said, it's still a step up from what we had before.

Let me guess, you want to see pictures now? Well, I don't have the most amazing light in my kitchen so the pictures don't do it justice, but I'll post them anyway. Just know, it's much nicer than the picture =)

the top 2 are before, the bottom 2 are after

Like I said, the pictures don't do it justice. But pictures are important, so there you go. You are all invited over to come see for yourself if you'd like =)

And here are a couple more pictures of why I hate doing anything to my kitchen that doesn't involve cooking:

Clutter.
Mess.
Things that are supposed to be in the kitchen but are on my dining table and the stove top.
Ugh. It stresses me out.
But I do see the bright side in all of this: that I own a house. I live in a safe, clean, happy house where I have the ability to make changes as I see fit.
That is a blessing.
All of the mess and clutter and stress are worth it, fo' shizzle my nizzle.

Thanks for stopping by! Soon, I'll post pictures of the COMPLETED kitchen, YAY!

 

As random as they come

My brain has seriously been going a mile a minute. No, more like 10 thousand miles a minute. I always have a to-do list in my head. A few days ago, I said that to-do list out loud with the hubs in attendance. His response? "My goodness, that's enough to make any sane person crazy, is that really what goes on in your head?"

My response? All.day.long.

Such is life though, right? I mean, if it's not the laundry, it's the dishes. If it's not the dishes, it's watering the garden {next project, putting in an irrigation system so I can take the watering the garden off my to-do list}. If it's not the garden, it's changing diapers. If it's not changing diapers, it's putting a child in yet another time-out and lovingly explaining to him why he was put there.....for what seems like the 50th time that day.

I think you catch my drift. I've finally got a routine down though and life with a 4 year old, 2 year old and 3 month old is moving along at lightening speed. It's moving way too fast. As much as I can't wait for the 2 year old to be out of diapers, I don't want him to grow up! As much as I want the 4 year old to wipe his own butt after he uses the bathroom {vulgar, I know....I'm not apologizing though!} I don't want him to stop depending on me! It's ridiculous, a total contradiction. My life is a contradiction. But I totally wouldn't change a second of it.

So, here's a few pictures to show you what has been going on in the life of me the last month when I've been ignoring my beloved blog {I really do love my blog. I think about it every day. For realsies}

He turned 2!!! AHHHHHH!!!!

She got blessed at church =)

and learned how to look even more adorable

The hubs GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!!!!!!!

and He turns 4 next month, AHHHHH!!!!

Well, it's a bunch of randomness, but it is what it is. And another random thought for you: I love instagram.  Alright, the end.

{Thanks for stopping by!! I LOVE your comments {nudge nudge, wink wink} !!!}

 

Wordful Wednesday: Sometimes I get tired, then I remember

I spend my days either nursing a baby, holding a baby in my arms or walking around with a baby in a sling of some sort. I'm kind of one of those "attachment parenting" types, the kind that doesn't like to put the precious babe down unless I have to. This isn't everyone's style, and what works for one doesn't work for another, and I get that. This isn't a post about parenting styles though. It's a post about how tired I am at the end of the day from choosing to carrying around said baby and how bad my feet, knees and back hurt and how sometimes I just can't hold in the complaining. But today, I've had an epiphany and have decided not to complain anymore.

Why?

Because this is my last baby. And it won't be long before she's big enough to sit by herself and play. And she won't want to sit and nurse for hours on end. And she won't want to be carried around in a sling. This is all kind of hitting me now.

I should be savoring every minute I get to spend cuddled up with this little woman. Because she's the last baby that I'll get to do it with.

It's kind of sad. But also so exciting to move into a completely different part of my life. The part where I am actually raising kids, and teaching them what is right and wrong, and watching them grow and learn and make mistakes and have huge amazing accomplishments. As someone once said to me, it's a 3 ring circus and we're all in a different ring at the circus, and I'm moving from the ring where I'm pregnant and having babies to the ring where I actually start watching them grow up.

I could go on and on about how all of this is making me feel. But that would take a lot of my time {and yours} to just ramble and ramble and there's a couple of crazy boys getting a little too rough in the wrestling arena to my right {no, we don't have an actual wrestling arena......but we should}
so I'll just say thanks for stopping by!
And now I'm going to go referee a match.

(this post is linked with parenting BY dummies for wordful/wordless wednesday)
 

Wordful Wednesday: An Update

I haven't posted in a week and my last post wasn't the most upbeat that's for sure (if you missed it and you're interested, you can read about my postpartum depression here). I didn't want everyone to think I'm a big ball of depressed mess, so I thought I'd give ya'll an update on the situation at this house of crazies.

Big brother Elliot, adoring his little sister

I've actually gotten into the swing of things pretty fast, mothering 3 kids instead of 2. The hubs has been back to work for a week (today is his birthday actually, happy birthday hubs!) and I don't feel nearly as overwhelmed as I did a week ago. Yes, the stress level can still be high at times when I have a crying newborn that I can't pick up because I'm dealing with a 2 year old's poopy diaper or a fight between brothers or a cat that's being horrifically tortured by the 2 year old......but the stress is only temporary.

I've found my biggest problem to be my patience. I find myself so quick to raise my voice at my boys {though fighting, torturing a cat, hitting their sister with a toy etc is grounds for raising my voice in my opinion....} and I would really feel better at the end of the day if I did that less. That was my goal for today actually, to not yell. I've done pretty good =)

I am still fighting the depression but it's not nearly as bad as it was. I find myself having more good times than bad. My back hurts like a mother at the end of the day from either carrying Gwen around in my arms or in a sling, but I try to keep a good outlook on the pain and tell myself I'm creating more muscles in my back  =)

This is how I spend most of the day, keeping busy with a newborn in a sling {thanks to my sister for making the sling!}

Everyone is finally starting to get healthy. My biggest fear came true and Gwen ended up getting pretty sick, but I'm so grateful she never spiked a fever and didn't have to go back to the doctor. Just a lot of sleepless nights on the couch sucking out her nose with a bulb syringe.

So, that's my update. I'm hanging in there and really appreciate all of the support I received through my last post. Thank you all for your kind words and offers for help. Here's to more upbeat posts in the near future!

{this post is linked with parenting BY dummies for Wordful/Wordless Wednesday}


 

Things I can't say: Postpartum Depression

This post is very hard for me to write. I am a proud person who doesn't like to admit when things are tough. But that is exactly what I am about to do.

Today the hubs went back to work after being home for 3 weeks while I recovered from my c-section {still working on that part} and to help out with the boys {which he did incredibly well, I am so immensely grateful for him. I love you hubs. I couldn't do any of this without you by my side.} My wonderful mother came over for 3 hours this morning so I could take a shower and not have to worry about the boys harming the new girl {you are amazing mom, thank you for all that you've done for me these past few weeks.} Other than those 3 hours, I've been doing it on my own. I knew this would be hard. It's not much worse than I expected really, it's just hard.

There are a few things that are making this harder on me than I expected though.

My {almost} 2 year old has a double ear infection, a runny nose and a cough. He is having an incredibly hard time with the fact he isn't the baby anymore. He isn't taking this out on his new sister {thank goodness} he's taking it out on me. That's hard. Really hard for me.

My {almost} 4 year old woke up this morning with an extreme runny nose and a horrid cough and spent most of the morning coughing in his newborn sisters face any chance he could get. I highly doubt he was doing this to harm her, it's just how it was happening. He is also having a very hard time adjusting to a new sister and is also taking it out on me {and his little brother.} Thankfully, he adores his little sister. I just wish he could actually be close to her when he wants to, but he can't because he's sick. And I'm terrified of the baby getting sick.

Then there's Gwen. My wonderful 3 week old {today} daughter. This is the part that is making my days even harder {and I wasn't planning on writing about this, but here it goes.} On Monday, we went to the pediatrician for a typical well-check and we ended the appt. with the pediatrician taking pictures of Gwen's beautiful face and saying she's a bit concerned about her stork bites/birth marks/whatever you usually call them and wants to make sure they aren't associated with a brain hemangioma. Gwen may need to have an MRI at 4 months. I have been crying over this for 3 days now. The fact that something could possibly be wrong with my beautiful new baby is more than I can handle. The Dr. then tells me not to stress out, but all I hear are the words "broken blood vessel in the brain" "MRI" "sedation." I don't hear: "I'm just being cautious, I just want someone who has more experience with this to take a look {shes's going to see a dermatologist in the next few weeks}. It could just be stork bites but I want to make sure." Of course I don't hold on to those words. I hold onto the horrible scary words. Yes there are the good things: they're being cautious, if it really is anything at least they're being proactive about it yadda yadda yadda.

But I'm dealing with horrible postpartum depression here. This news, on top of a 2 year old with double ear infections who is mad at me because he's not the baby anymore and a 4 year old who is sick and mad at me too just feels like too much.

Some minutes {yes minutes, not even hours or days} I feel amazing. Like a true superwoman. Like I can do this, I can change diapers and feed little people and keep the house clean and do it all with a smile and a cheerful heart. Other minutes I am a wreck and feel overwhelmed and sad and ugly and fat and horrible.

I know this is all very personal.
But I needed to get it out there.
Postpartum depression is something that happens to many many women.
And it's happening to me.
And I'm trying my best to keep it all together and ask for help when I need it.

I know this will all get better....eventually.
I know I am never given more than I can handle.
I know I have people who love me and support me.
Knowing all of this makes each day just a little bit more bearable.

Thanks for reading.
{This post is linked with Things I Can't Say for Pour Your Heart Out}